Wooden Eye

A couple arrived late last night, and settled into the double room, which has an en-suite shower.

They appeared to be satisfied: "This is all we need."

I decided on some 'shut-eye.'

"Hello, hello," I hear, in the distance.

"So, sorry, to wake you up. But, we would prefer to bath."

After having perused the premises, that cannot find one of the three available.

Back to sleep at 2am, after being asked for a 9am wake-up call.

"Hello, hello,"

It is now 5.15.

"Could we Skype and iron a shirt? Where do we do this?"

I thought this had been discussed at 2am.

Back to sleep at 6am. Bad move, as I need to be polite and perky at 7am.

But, even if I could locate matchsticks, these would not keep my eyes open.

Around 7.30, Tim leaves. He calls at 8.

"I left my 'phone behind. I am on my way. Please don't bath or anything. I'll be there now-now."

Around 9am, Tim arrives: "I see you are still in your pyjama."

Also at 9am, I knock on the double room door. No answer. I tap on the window. Still, no answer.

Finally.

"Please wake us up at 10am. We have arranged to be collected at 11. And, please open the gate to let us out."

Now, why wooden I?"