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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Now, another Name

Some travellers will hire a posh car air-conditioning included, with an enquiry for bullet-proof windows, but will not hire a GPS for an extra ZAR50 per day?

Armloads of maps are spread over the dining table and they will enquire thus:

"How far is it to Pemba, my love?"

I, going the extra mile will google and authoritatively announce:

"Do you wish to travel to Mozambique, Zambia or Zanzibar?"

As our airport has been renamed three times, from Jan Smuts International to Johannesburg International.

It is now O R Tambo International, and as some people are not busy enough have renamed streets in Johannesburg.

What was once, say, Andries Aardvark Avenue, has been renamed Satlahopmate Sinklalegatholo Street.

"Could you pronounce that street name for us and spell it, my dear? We've only just arrived!"

One guest who lost his way from the airport to Terrylin, was so impressed with Steven's Tom-Tom that he bought it from him.

Steven then bought a Garmin and spent some time 'phoning someone to add Terrylin as a 'Point of Interest Accommodation' and 'Home'.

I now understand the meaning of Boys and their Toys.

When Steven drives to the corner shop which he can do with his eyes closed, he taps on the Garmin.

On his return he will press 'Home', and as he whooshes through the front gate, he is duly notified that he has "Now Reached his Destination."

When I am bored, I read - Really Ghetto.

Some dipstick couldn't afford a Garmin it seems and glued a globe onto his car's dashboard.

Happy Travels, Boet...

Monday, June 20, 2011

Blake's Baptism

Blake was baptised in St. Therese's Catholic Church, and I was a tad concerned about outbursts of bika and balla during the ceremony.

But, everything went off splendidly along with another little cherub, both of them ginger's.

Neither of them uttered a sound, even when the holy water flattened Blake's mowahawk.

We then assembled at Villa Bianca for lunch, Blake was the man of the moment, with one gentleman yelling: "Give that Man a Bells!!"

To say that the Itilian Giannoccaro's are a colourful lot is an understatement.

At any 'get-together' they all have stories to yell. This immediate family consists of eight brothers and sisters who all speak at the same time, nobody listens to any one else, and it is a laugh a minute.

There are arguments about who owes whom money from 20 years ago.

"But, I thought that was a gift."

"You said that the last 100 times!"

"Oh, forget it," and then there are passionate declarations of love, ties that bind, and death threats to anyone who dares to harm.

A story doing the rounds was of two sisters, nicknamed - 'I know', and 'I don't know'.

Sister 1 : "Where is your husband tonight?"
Sister 2 : "I don't know!"
Sister 3 : "I know!"

Sister No.1 : "Where is your daughter this morning?" Repeat.

Blake, named Archie by Dada, has his own version:

Granny Mary is Nona. (correct)

I am Gummy. (must make that orthodontist's appointment)

Grandpa Martin is Ammie.

Godmother Aimee is Emmie.

Nick and Misty are Daddee and Mommee (sorted)

Godfather Dada is confused with Daddee, and so Dada announced: "Just call me Ugly."