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Monday, November 28, 2011

Pillow Talk

On a visit to the Campbells, Misty completing an assignment had a blonde moment with GPS co-ordinates:

"Where do I find Gauteng on the map?"

Aimee doubles up with laughter.

Blake with pointed forefinger: "Emmie! I see you! Don't be naughty!"

You don't mess with his mommy.

I then gave Blake, a Buzz and Woody colouring-in book and puzzle.

And he disappeared.

We leapt off the couches running and yelling until Nick shouted:

"It's okay. I found him!"

There was Blake, hidden inbetween the pillows, colouring-in and giggling.

We settled down again and then it was time for more sports, which went like this.

Blake piled up the pillows on the couches next to Nick and waited in the doorway.

After a few seconds Blake felt a thump on the back of his head.

"Stop, Daddy, Stop!"

Nick stops.

"More, Daddy, More!"

That night during a thunderstorm, Misty felt a presence in the bedroom.

Blake was squeezed in between the bed and side cupboard.

"Psst, Mommy, Boom-Boom!"

Blake snuggled in, and in the morning as Nick sat on the side of the bed rubbing his eyes, a pillow was hurled at his head.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Where You Here?

Terrylin, was inundated with guests this past weekend attending a Health Seminar at Emporer's Palace.

As each one entered, there was thunderous applause with whistling, back-slapping and clapping. But, there was still time for questions...

1. Three young men after a week at the Kruger.

"We have so many questions that weren't answered to our satisfaction. What do lions eat? And, why do they sit down? And, why, when we wanted to go back to the camp, others wanted to stay?"

2. "I booked a dorm bed. Why do I have to share the room with others? You didn't tell me that you had other bookings!"

3. "Come and sit outside with me while I smoke. Do you look after your health? We only have one body, you know."

4. "You have to drink this herbal tea. It takes away headaches and stress. You look as though you need it.""

5. "The fridge is filled with everyone else's alcohol. Where can I put mine?"

6. "Why didn't you fetch me from the airport? I e-mailed that I might need a transfer but I wasn't sure. I also didn't know what time I would be landing, but I thought, you would be there anyway."

7. "I am a born-again Christian. What about you? I noticed your bookcase needs more books from CUM. Take mine. I can always get more."

8. "I have been taking these products for 5 years. (Clap-clap. Back-Slap) Let me show you my file. See all the weight I've lost. I am 63, and the fittest bugger on the planet."

9. "I met a few mates at Emporer's. They say it is so expensive. Could you find some extra beds, so they can sleep here? It is only for one night."

10. "I assumed that because there are so many of us you would fry us eggs for breakfast. White bread once it is injested, alters from starch to sugar."

11. "Don't fret yourself. If you want white bread, I brought plenty along."

12. "Your domestic has arrived. Do you know that you have to pay her double because it's Sunday?"

13. "Did you receive my towel? I had it posted from a hostel in Cape Town? This is very important to me. It travels with me, wherever I go, but I keep on leaving it behind.

And, this morning, there it was...

'Phone rings. Number 8.

"I seem to have misplaced my file. Do you see it? Or do you think someone has taken it?"

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Just Looking

Before, I could say, please sign in, Noel and Simon, threw down their backpacks and darted, one this way (kitchen) and the other that way (dining area)and flung open the fridge doors!

Usually guests dart to the bathroom. Understandable.

Steven, went one way: "What are your looking for?"

I, the other: "Are you OK? May I get you anything?"

Their replies: "Leftovers? You know, anything other guests have left behind!"

Later Noel enters the lounge and begins moving the furniture about.

Refer, questions above. Noel is looking for a plug-point.

"There is one in the bedroom," says Steven.

"I can't use that one," continues Noel. "Simon is in there eating."

Seated at the breakfast table, which I assumed they had been waiting for since the wee hours, Noel says:

"Oh, hi, we were talking about you last night."

"Really? Nice things, I hope? Is there any room for improvement?" I say and walk away.

In walks Inga, tall, blonde, beautiful, but all ashudder, and here is her story:

"I am so sorry. I was at another hostel last night. We had a big party. Everyone was drunk. I can't remember much. Anyway, when I woke up this morning, the owner I think it was, was in my bed fiddling about."

And, Inga tottered down the passage in her 'f**k me heels.

Noel and Simon with their mouths full ran to reception.

"Can we book another night?"

I was asked: "Do you have any monkeys around here?"

"No, only some of the guests."

I'm kidding. No, really. I am.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Blake All A Buzz

Blake is now obsessed with Buzz Lightyear and before bedtime he watches Toy Story.

E-v-e-r-y night.

He then leaps about swinging a light-sabre which narrowly misses the TV, yelling:

"To Infinity and Beyond."

Last Saturday Nick and Misty treated Blake at ToysRus. There he selected a cap, Buzz, and a gift inside a chocolate egg.

And, there was Woody.

Blake's mouth formed a perfect O. He clenched his fist around Woody, and refused to let go.

Off to Putt-Putt, what a day, and every time Blake hit the ball, he bellowed:

"To Infinity and Beyond."

When the ball went into the hole Blake punched the air and dislodged Woody.

"Now, the balls gone! And Woody!", he cried.

Back home Blake misplaced Woody, the size of his pinky finger, again.

Tossing out his toyboxes, and slapping his hands on his head, Blake explained the tragic situation:

"No, Mommy, no. Buzz is crying!"

When Blake found Woody he squashed their heads together making kissing sounds.

Misty switched on the TV. There was - Monsters Inc.

"No, Mommy, no!!! Now you made Buzz cry. And Woody. And Meeeeee!!!"