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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Just Another Day

Saffa's have a TV Channel, e-tv, and for reasons only known to them an additional aerial needs to be installed.

An appointment is confirmed with George to install said aerial, for yesterday evening @ 18h00, as Joshua is using the ladder to paint the gutters and clocks off at 16h00.

With no prior warning George hoots at the gate at 13h00.

After a heated exchange - George: "I need the ladder to get up into the ceiling!" and Joshua: "I need the ladder to finish my job!", George, enquires as to whether I have another ladder.

What is this - Builders Hardware?

Steven returns from there with paintbrushes and thinners only to discover, that Joshua is painting the newly installed gutters with enamel paint.

Another heated exchange - Steven: "What the ****, is the matter with you?" Joshua: "Sorry, I must have lost my mind," and off he goes.

George then climbs up the ladder into the ceiling with a request, that Steven remains still i.e. in one spot,(a tall order) to confirm the picture clarity.

The bellowing begins.

George: "What is happening now?"

Steven: "Nothing!"

George: "And, now?"

Steven: "Still, nothing!"

George: "What do you mean?"

Steven: "It's still fuzzy. Wait, now it's clear. No, it's fuzzy again."

After an hour of this, George stomps down the ladder.

"**** this!!!", they both say in unison. Steven pours a beer each, and they ponder this way and that, cursing e-tv.

It later transpires that George was sold the incorrect aerial.

This morning Joshua arrives to re-scrape the gutters, and George arrives gazing longingly at the ladder, to install the new aerial.

"Where is Steven? I need him again."

"Maybe, I can help," I offer.

In thirty minutes - e-tv. In three hours - sparkling gutters.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Then There are Those

When Terrylin opened its doors Steven and I were rather ignorant about certain folk.

During a 'phone call, it was arranged that Steven would collect a gentleman and his wife from the airport.

"We are here, waiting outside Terminal B," with a detailed description of how Steven was to recognise them.

They returned an hour and a half later after Steven located them waiting for their meal at Mugg and Bean.

Their explanation. "We didn't think you'd be here in ten minutes as you said."

Steven also had to plead with Security not to clamp the car tyres and had to pay a hefty parking fee, which took care of the price for the accommodation.

This couple onward to Livingstone asked if they could leave one suitcase here,(which turned out to be three) as they would return within four days, and would like to re-book the room.

His wife, left a review - The owner was a real sweaty.

Four days later they re-appear via a taxi in a flap.

"We are here to collect our luggage. Please hurry. The taxi driver has the meter on!"

Andre calls to be collected from Park Station: "The price is a real bargain. The taxi wanted to charge double that. Could you also take me to the airport to collect my friend?"

Later: "So sorry, Steve, but my friend has found another place, much cheaper. Could you offer me discount, for collecting me from the station?"

Last night, Lara, requested a quiet, private room with the lights switched off and a taxi at 4h30.

"What time is your flight?" I ask.

"Oh, only at midday. I just wanted to get there early, so that I can read my book."

Be a real sweaty now, I remind myself.

"Oh, I forgot to ask you," continues Lara. "I am going to the bush. Please may I take your hairdryer? I will return it when I come back, but I don't know when that will be?"

"No," I say, "the other guests may need it."

"Just need the loo." Lara runs off carrying her backpack, which she then flings into the taxi, telling the driver to 'hurry, hurry.'

I hope there is electricity in the bush, Lara, so you may use my hairdryer.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

What Would You Do?

As I was re-checking the rooms for late arrivals, tring-tring...

"Hel...", say I.

"I have missed my flight."

"Oh no - who am I speaking to?"

"Gaskalada Konomipolous. (I think I heard correctly.) And don't you dare take the payment from my credit card! Don't you dare, you hear me!!"

"Could you please spell your name for me?" I asked.


"You card has already been debited," I explain. "You have to give at least a days notice. It's all there on your booking form."

"I am giving a days notice. My booking is for tomorrow."

"No, it's for tonight - Wednesday, 30th May. I am reading it, right here."

"I would like to speak to your Manager, right now!"

"You may speak to me."

"Do you realise that I am 'phoning from my cell 'phone, here in Memphis? Now, why would I make a booking for tonight, if I am still here in Memphis"

Yesterday morning, an e-mail.

I am flying in from the USA next week. I would like to book a dorm bed. I would also like discount as I am bringing in food for the orphans in Swaziland. I do not have much money. I would also like you to contact the bus to Swaziland leaving the following morning, and ask them to pop by at your place so that I can save the fare to the terminal B at OR Tambo.

I would also like a physical description of the driver. As you can understand I am very nervous about landing at your airport in the middle of Johannesburg. Also, what would it cost me for a taxi driver to bring me to your place at midnight?"

R100, I mail back.

That is much too expensive. I have contacted another driver at the airport and he will only charge me R150. Which is not bad considering it is so late at night. For the life of me, I cannot think why I booked this flight so late.