I want to make your at Terrylin a pleasant one.
1. The security gates are locked at night for your benefit.
2. Please consider others who want to sleep. Don't shout, sing, exercise and bang doors.
3. Please don't leave your belongings behind. I cannot post these to you.
4. Please do not bring me 2kg's of washing at 11pm.
5. Please don't complain about the check-out time. I need to clean your mess so others can find the place as you found it. Also, don't arrive early and ask me every ten minutes if your room is ready yet?
6. Please do not hover over my domestic help. It makes her feel uncomfortable. She does not steal.
7. I cannot answer your questions while I am on the 'phone. You will have your turn. Please be patient.
8. Please don't leap out in front of me while I am carrying a loaded tray.
9. If you have booked your own tour/transport please don't ask me where they are?
10. Please do not follow me around. No-one is going to bite you, least of all me. I also have to shower and brush my teeth as you do. I won't try to open the door.
11. I cannot be held responsible for power outages, burst water pipes, slow wi-fi, thunderstorms, heavy traffic and the neighbour's barking dogs. And yes the 'planes do make a noise.
12. If I book a taxi for you it will take 10 minutes to arrive. Please do not ask me to allay your fears every two minutes. When the taxi arrives do not holler: "Taxi's here!" If you heard the driver hooting, then so did I.
If you are awake at 5am, please do not knock on my bedroom door, to enquire whether I have booked the taxi yet, which you require at 10am.
13. If I am in the shower, please do not knock on the door, enquiring whether the tour guide will definitely be here. He will, I promise! I also want to smell nice.
14. When I open the gate please take 2 steps inside before answering your mobile, so I can close it again.
15. I cannot provide a door key for the dorms. You all want to wander in and out.
16. If you want to cancel your booking please let me know. It's polite.
17. Please clean the loo if you make a number two. Everything you need is there.
18. There is a rubbish bin in the kitchen. Please feel use it.
19. Please do not ask to use my 'phone even if calls are free in your country.
20. I paid for my food as did others. Please buy your own.
Other than that, you are most welcome.