Celebrities have cornered the market bestowing ridiculous names on their offspring, variations of Pretty Pooh and Funny Hunny.
Steven once employed a man to build a braai next to the swimming pool.
His name was Hitler!
For the uninformed, in South Africa, to cook meat over an open fire is called a braai. A barbeque is a flavour of crisps.
As hung-over Hitler proceeded with the braai-building, under the watchful eye of Steven, his endeavours began to look a little wonky and Steven shouted:
"Hitler, Hitler! Hitler!!, what the f**k are you doing?"
A German couple nearly choked on their coffee.
They were not offended by the swearing, but that parents could name their child Hitler. In Germany, I was told there is a roster detailing offensive, unacceptable names.
"Doesn't apply here," I replied, "You won't believe the names of some of these people!"
My name is Joy McLaren. I am often asked to spell Joy, and then called Jay or Joyce. And, asked if Joy is an African name. No, these are Beauty, Precious and Lovely.
McLaren becomes McLarren, McLeren, MacLarren and MeClerahan.
"Think Formulae One," I say.
"Oh, the racing car. That's easy. Why didn't you just say so? Are you involved in any way? My son is a demon in his go-cart, and I would like to give him an early start."
On the notice board at reception, many guests have pinned paper money, but the pride-of-place, was a use-on-or-before 30th of June 2008, Five Hundred Million Zimbabwean Dollar note.
This was a hot topic of conversation in various languages amongst the guests.
When I told them that Trillion Dollar notes were issued their eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.
Some are journeying towards the Vic Falls and ask if any of these notes are still in circulation? I heard that they are being used as wallpapering for homes and shops.
I am almost sure that Zimbabweans are willing to exchange these for dollars.
One guest, an Economics student, was very grateful as she now had a thesis for her Master's degree.