I received a call from two ladies whom I will name, Flora and Dora.
F: "On your website, we see that you have twin rooms with a shared bathroom."
D: "Are you sure, sure?"
F: "Ok, we will book a twin room on condition, that there are no other guests tonight. We do not like backpackers."
D: "They make too much noise."
As it so happened, Terrylin had six but Flora and Dora arrived anyway.
F: "We normally stay in 5* hotels, but I guess this is ok, hey Dora?"
D: "Do you mind if we use the kitchen to make a cup of decaf? We won't use your coffee."
F: (bellowing down the passage) "Dora, where is your tin of decaf?"
As the evening wore on the backpackers appointed a leader to enquire whether I could ask the two ladies, to quieten down as they were making too much noise.
The following morning, Flora and Dora while sipping their decaf in the front garden, the bleary-eyed backpackers packed their camper van and left.
A black gentleman guest packed his luggage into his car, and said goodbye to Flora and Dora.
D: "Are you a taxi driver?"
F: "No? We thought you were the driver for the backpackers."
Flora and Dora, then decide to allocate an hour for breakfast.
D: "Do we absolutely, definitely, have to leave by 10? Sure. Sure."
F: "Could we have at least, another 15 minutes please? You can clean around us. We won't bother you at all."
Five minutes later, and more...
D: "You may clean the breakfast table now."
F: "Do you have a scale to weigh our luggage?"
D: "Your wi-fi isn't working."
F: "I am from Holland, but I flew in on Air France. Do you know why this is?"
D: "Do you know today's temperature and tomorrow's?"
F: "Do you have a refuse bag?"
D: "We are still hungry. We are used to more substantial breakfasts. Could you fry us eggs and bacon?"
F: "We will also have a last cup of decaf. We can't drink your coffee. We also need the milk boiled."
D: "Do you polish your floors regularly? I can recommend something."
F: "Do you have an iron? We are off to a business meeting."
D: "I nearly forgot. I will be leaving a bag of soil for your garden. It will do it the world of good. We asked for a soil sample in Mozambique and the guy gave us a whole bag."
As I am opening the gate,
F: "It is still two hours before our meeting. We are thinking of coming back. Could we have a quick look around?"
Now, where did I leave my Calmettes?