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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Check My Dimmers

A backpacker binned a posh pair of sunnies, which I gave to Gideon, the gardener.

One would think they were diamond encrusted the way he carried on.

I heard the weed-eater, full throttle and then silence. I peered over the gate as Madam is wont to do.

Gideon did not see me as he was busy impressing the passers by who had skidded in their tracks in admiration.

"Where did you get those dimmers?"

"Can I also work for your madam?"

"How cool, hey? Those are the real deal."

A cacophony of shrieks of laughter, eishing and backslapping ensued.

"Gideon!" I screeched, and the admirers scattered. "Give me those sunglasses. You can have them back, when you have finished your work."

"Good idea, Madam." he said. A tsotsi asked me if he could try them on. But, he would have run off with them. Now I have a sore head. A cold beer would go down nicely."

I placed them on the coffee table where they promptly disappeared.

Steven strutted through, sunnies aloft: "Who left these? I'll have them."

"They are Gideon's," I wearily replied.

"Really? How much do you pay him?"

Gideon later: "Madam, those dimmers are fake. You can keep them. My friend sells them on the streets. And, he knows these things."

Sitting in the garden one evening, I told Steven that Warren Buffet said: "I am sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree."

Steven then decided to have a ginormous one felled to make space for a carport. A quotation from Patrick for R1 800 sealed the deal.

During the day, an over excited Steven decided to go the whole hog, adding one tree after the other, verbal quotations going to and fro with Patrick 'phoning for additional staff.

At R5 000, I asked Steven to settle down.

"This is going to cost you," said Colin, a retiree from SARS, sticking his head over the wall and wagging his finger.

When Patrick presented the invoice, Steven, ever the comedian, inspected it and said: "What's this? R5 000! I thought we had agreed on R500. Tell you what, I can give you a nice pair of dimmers in exchange."

Patrick's face was a picture.

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