Mama's House

Charlie booked in earlier than usual and asked if he could have breakfast.

What harm could this do, I decided. A lot it appeared.

I had an appointment in the afternoon and Charlie assured me that he would be alright as he needed to sleep.

On my return, I noticed that he had again devoured cereal, bread, orange juice, tea and coffee leaving the mug, glass, bowl, and plate on the table.

Off he went for a walk and returned two hours later, lay on the couch, propping his dirty feet on the cushions.

Dinner time, and while my back was turned ordering a pizza, Charlie proceeded to have breakfast again leaving the mess. Again.

Now I was pissed off and tired but decided to lock the bread and cereal in the cupboard.

But, forgot about the milk.

When I awoke the following morning Charlie was lying on the couch again.

I check the fridge for the milk - four litres gone and the urn is empty.

"Why did you hide the bread and cereal away as I woke up for a midnight snack?" Charlie asked grinning. You did the right thing though, as there may not have been cereal or bread left over for the other guests."

"I love this place though," he continued, "It's just like my mama's house."

Later that morning, kaboom!

Steven: "You won't believe what just happened. I was washing my hands and I watched a screw falling out of the door. It held for a while and then crashed onto the toilet seat. Stop laughing. I could have been dead and then what?"

After Steven replaced the door, he left seat under his arm for Builder's Warehouse, I placed an Out of Order notice on the door.

On Steven's return, he opened the said door and there sat Charlie regal as you please.

"Can't you read?" asked Steven. There are six other toilets you could have used?"

Sasha called later: "I noticed on your website that you have a lot of baths and showers. But, do you have any toilets?"